Stop Negative Self Talk. Your Children Are Listening

Do your kids say things about themselves that would cause you pain if anyone ever said to you? What do I mean? Do they stumble and then say “ugh. I am so clumsy.” Do they have to read something over again to understand and say “I am so stupid?” Do they forget to do something and say “I have a terrible memory?”

Do you know where they learned to do this?

Do you say these things yourself?

How would you feel if I said that to you when you stumbled? Or took another few minutes to understand something? Or used tools to remember something? Our brains are interesting machines. Give yourself a break! Teach your kids to give themselves some slack. There are many things that happen to us. If we are multi-tasking, nothing really gets our attention. If we are distracted, we may stumble. What you say to yourself, you really hear and so do your children! So say nice things. Give yourself positive messages. Build yourself up!

When I was younger, I told myself that I was bad at memorizing things at school. When I got older, I told myself that I wasn’t smart enough to go to college. I told myself that I didn’t understand finances and investments. It took a lot of years and the pressure of being divorced to realize that those things aren’t who I am.

Those situations don’t define me. I can improve at anything I set my mind to and I did! Socrates said “The only true wisdom is knowing NOTHING”. Be a blank page awaiting the words. Be open to gaining knowledge.

According to Jack Canfield, co-author of Chicken Soup For The Soul, the effects of negative thoughts include the emotional states of fear, anger, anxiety, guilt, shame, and regret. He includes that your muscles get weaker and your stress levels go up. Those who engage in negative self-talk tend to lack motivation and can lead to depression. Does your child already show signs that they lack motivation or have depression? So let’s turn that frown upside down! What new thing can you turn around for you?

What new language can you set in place to build yourself up? We teach by example. Here are 5 positive messages to replace the negative:

“I Can’t” becomes “How can I…”
“I am stressed” becomes “I need a self-care activity”
“I am stupid” becomes “How can I learn that…”
“I am clumsy” becomes “I am better at…”
“I don’t know anything” becomes “I am learning…”

Your children are listening. Take notice if you are using negative words in front of your children. Do you want your children to grow up to believe these negative messages about you or about themselves? Children identify with parents from birth. It is important for us as parents to catch ourselves so that we can turn the words around and teach our children to have improved self-image and improve their self-talk language.

Everyone wants HAPPINESS. No one wants pain. But, you can’t have a RAINBOW, without a little RAIN.

If you want to support and more ideas on parenting and/or divorcing amicably, reach out for a free consultation with Coach Red. Contact us and subscribe to our newsletter and on our social media so you don’t miss a thing!

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As always, if you need more information on how to enforce teamwork in your household, visit www.coachred1.com to schedule a FREE consultation. We will take you through the steps needed to raise happy, healthy, and compassionate children.

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