The saying that has been around for centuries; an ancient African proverb that continues to resonate with succeeding generations. So what does it actually mean? While it may seem pretty straight forward, there is more to this phrase than just community members looking after a child.
In short, the expression refers to an entire community working together to ensure the growth and safety of children. While the members of our immediate family do shape our values, beliefs, and personalities, the people that surround us (our environment), have a noteworthy impact on our overall development.
First things first–“it takes a village to raise a child” does not mean that the (metaphorical) village is responsible for raising your child. It means the community is responsible for looking after the child. To put it more clearly– making sure they learn important life lessons, such as respecting their elders and demonstrating proper manners. Yet, respect isn’t one-sided. The members of the community must also listen to the children so that they feel heard and appreciated. In a village, a child feels safe.
In our fast-paced, alienated society, it is somewhat surreal to grasp that there are indeed cultures around the globe that value community instead of individualism. Civilizations exist that emphasize collective needs including taking care of families and “looking out” for each other. In these places, the act of living and growing is an experience in which all members participate. So, let’s say a child is being deprived of learning how to read or write due to the fact that the parents are too busy with work or house chores. In such a scenario, members of the “village” would step in to teach the child in the absence of the parents.
This kind of solidarity seems like a far-reaching, utopian concept– especially in today’s American culture. As mentioned above, there’s no doubt times have drastically changed. We live in a world where we are constantly inundated by information, cell phones replace people, and although the population continues to grow, our social interactions decline.
Could it have something to do with the fact that the United States is termed an individualistic culture? Yes–the definition is pretty much exactly what you think it is: our culture is focused more on self-growth and independence than community. The opposite end of the spectrum would be a collectivist culture, in which family and group goals take precedence. Why bring this up, you ask? Well, not surprisingly, the saying “it takes a village to raise a child” tends to be more widely received in collectivist cultures.
As you can see, the “village” represents the overall environment in which a child grows up in. A supportive, nurturing community fosters growth by instilling values that ultimately mold characteristics, beliefs, and behavior. A child who grew up witnessing their parents act generously towards neighbors are more likely to replicate that kind of behavior in the future. The same concept goes for trusting others, saying please and thank you, being charitable; these are all values that we learn from a young age.
That being said, it’s safe to say we are at a time where we could use a “village” more than ever. Our society has grown increasingly stressful, with more incidences of child bullying, isolation, and a spike in mental disorders–which is why this proverbial saying is so important. It takes a village to educate our children about the dangers of drinking and driving, it takes a village to ensure the safety of our children at playgrounds, with neighboring parents keeping an eye out on all the kids.
It takes a village to have difficult conversations about drugs and other potential threats they might encounter. A school, for example, is a village in itself. Teachers are responsible for the safety, education, and growth of children; they prepare them for the outside world and equip them with the knowledge needed to make smart decisions about their future.
It’s true, you cannot always control what a child will choose to listen to, but that does not mean you can’t try. At Coach Red, we believe in the power of education through effective communication. While we may not have a village looking after our kids, we can start right at home with the family.
—
As always, if you need more information on how to enforce teamwork in your household, visit www.coachred1.com to schedule a FREE consultation. We will take you through the steps needed to raise happy, healthy, and compassionate children.
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachRedRochelleStrauss
Sign up for our monthly newsletter: https://bit.ly/red-news
Subscribe to our Youtube Channel: https://bit.ly/coachred